By Adrian Faupel
Pt. 1. What will we suggest via anger? -- pt. 2. making plans to prevent the hurricane -- pt. three. The fireworks -- pt. four. useful purposes -- pt. five. Appendices
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Extra resources for Anger Management: A Practical Guide
The use of I-messages, rather than You-messages (Gordon, 2003) is a core teacher-and-parent skill in relating to children, particularly when they are behaving badly, and is a practical way of achieving this distinction between the person and their behaviour (see Chapter 7). Our own goals can be pursued while still respecting the other person. A criticism of applied psychology in the educational context is that it can lead to a kind of pathologising of the individual, focusing on negatives and blaming the individual for problems.
Much depends upon how parents cope with their children’s anger. We have seen how feelings of anger are related to being thwarted. The reality is that, consciously or unconsciously, parents will never meet all the needs of their children. For some psychologists, the fact of being a child inevitably means that there will be both loving and hating feelings experienced towards parents. How parents handle the expression of such feelings may prove crucial to subsequent adjustment and mental health. Children need to feel that their ‘uncontrollable rage’ is actually contained – the last thing they need is the parent who buckles in weakness and abrogates control in the presence of childhood anger.
Angry, aggressive students are much more likely to be referred for formal assessment of their special educational needs; for social, emotional and behavioural difficulties (SEBD); or to be moved into alternative provision (pupil referral units, or PRUs). This is the major area in which ‘inclusion’ policies are currently not working well. In the current climate there is very little likelihood of reduction in the number of places in specialist provision. Without entering into wider issues of special educational provision, there are certainly disadvantages in a child having to attend special provision on the grounds that they pose a threat to other children if they remain in a mainstream school.
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